He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
your like the ambassador to my penis.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
