adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
