I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
