Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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