Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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