If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
