i barfeds in our rink
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
