I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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