She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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