i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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