the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
