Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
