9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
