you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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