plz talk dirty to me
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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