i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
she told me i tasted like america
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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