he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize