"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
