if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Do you have feelings for this penis?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
