sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Bring me that man meat
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize