also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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