Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
