Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
