I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
