perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
It's blow job season.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
