I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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