Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
