Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
