I'm really into asian looking animals
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Houston, we have a squirter
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
