He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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