oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
There was a lot of him and a little penis
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize