U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize