p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
