I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Your topless pictures make me question reality
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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