I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
