he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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