sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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