I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
