mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
this just has baby written all over it
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Randomize
