I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
