So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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