You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
