Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
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