I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
