i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
