I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Found the puke drawer
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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