You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
