I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
