Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I just had sex on a roof
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
