doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
