Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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