Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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