We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
