She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
