Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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