Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Even my vagina gasped.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
