would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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