The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
