I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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