is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Randomize
