OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
