I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
