Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
