Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
