dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
