Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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