Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
