you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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