Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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